Saturday, March 7, 2009

Serves You Right

Today's flavor: fruitcake - an odd confection we've tried before and vowed to never touch again, only to be tempted by a different variety with nasty results; looks lovely, never tastes as promised; starts out sweet, ends up a sticky mess with a hideous aftertaste.

"I stick my neck out for no one." Rick Blaine, Casablanca

Rick understood that every time you hold out a helping hand, you risk having it cut off. How cynical is that? I know, I know - your immediate reaction (especially you moms) is going to be that we have to take that risk, what good are we without helping others. And, yeah, I agree with that...in theory. It's in practice that things get tricky. [Exception -for my husband, my kids, my sister (and her husband and kids), and my mother, I would hold out a helping hand, every other appendage, and my neck without hesitation.] But the stars are long gone from my eyes. Sadly, it seems that if you are feeling magnanimous and generously offer your time/money/space/ expertise/connections/creativity/labor/or a stick of gum, the recipient is quite likely to follow up with a request for a repeat, or ask if you might have a kidney to spare. Well, at the very least, you'll experience a pronounced lack of appreciation, but more likely you will have your altruism smack you in the face. What's the old adage? No good deed comes without a bitch-slap...? So be prepared, next time you offer to drive a friend, you might become an unpaid taxi service; next time you grab the check, you'll become the wallet; if you agree to let someone stay for a few days, your home might get a new permanent resident; your great enthusiasm for that school committee will be rewarded with a full-time work load and a lot of criticism of your performance; before you lend a friend a dress/dvd/cd/prom date, take a picture because that may be the only way you'll see it again; and a little cash between friends will cost you more than any dollar value. Serves you right - you good-karma generating, relentlessly good, do-gooder. You never learn - you want to have faith, so when the occasion presents itself you think, "I'll go for it, this can't go wrong." That's good. You're good. You're a nice person. Truly. And you should keep trying to do unselfish good in the world. That's what I tell myself too. What? Don't look so surprised - I can be nice too. Only, I'm thinking my next random act of kindness will be performed anonymously, because I don't need the credit - and I'll gladly fore go the credit to avoid any fruitcakey thanks being hurled in my direction.

16 comments:

  1. I learned long ago that being nice is never easy, but nothing good in life is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's hard to balance being nice and getting stepped on. I don't think anyone ever gets it perfectly balanced out, but I'd rather be nice and occasionally have it come back to bite me than be cynical.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do what's in your heart regardless of what anybody else does. The act of doing something for someone else doesn't mean you have a "kick me" sign on your rear end. If somebody kicks you it's their stuff, not yours because they had the choice not to take advantage. Hopefully the number of nice people will increase as a result of the ones who currently exist.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If I "lend" something, I don't intend to see it again. In the beginning it made me wonder what kind of people I was hanging out with!
    Now I know that it's just human nature. I don't know why.

    Thanks for being a part of the Virtual GNO last Friday! I hope you met some wonderful bloggers :->

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sad, but true! I've noticed that when I do something nice for someone else, alot of times they just "expect" it from then on, annoying! So then, I quit being so nice :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. ...visiting from Ann's VGNO. hmmmm, Ann didn't ask about things we'd never eat again...fruitcake's on my list! Cool Blog!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stopping by from Ann's VGNO to say hi!

    Love the blog!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I noticed that when volunteering. They would constantly call me for everything because I would say yes. At some point what started as generosity feels more like you're being used.

    Happy to see you at VGNO tonight!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi! Thanks for stopping by for Ann's GNO! I see you're in Jersey... me too! Perhaps we're close by?
    Happy GNO! Off to check out your blog.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Thank you for taking the time to check it out, I know it can be difficult to see, But thank you for the kind words.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I enjoyed my stop at your blog tonight. Hope you are having a great night at the party!! Looking forward to seeing you over at my place to join in my party.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for popping by my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Haha, awesome! Happy VGNO =)

    ReplyDelete
  14. The toughest word I had to learn was the word 'No'... :) Great post!

    Stopping in from the VGNO - thanks for stopping by my blog, too! :) Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love your blog...I am a follower now :O) Thanks for stopping by my party and Happy VGNO!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. The problem OBVIOUSLY is that you are just too good at what you do. I learned EARLY ON while doing temp work in NYC that if you walk in on day 1 and you are good at what you do, you will become the office hero and will miraculously be put in charge of everything. The answer? Just be mediocre at the things you don't care that much about.

    Toodles from VGNO!

    ReplyDelete

sticky post: Hello, wonderful visitors!

I hope you're enjoying my writing as much as I enjoy your comments. Keep them coming! I don't want to bore you, so send me your feedback and suggest any any topics/stories you'd like me to "flavor" for public consumption. ♥♥