[no, that's not me, but is strikingly similar]
So I'm looking at my muffin top this morning -not the kind you eat, but the one on my body(you know, used to be called a spare tire) - and I wonder if I can turn this into a positive. Probably not. I mean, no matter how much my kids tell me they like me because I'm "comfy" - like a big, stuffed pillow - I just don't love this post-baby, can-see-40-around-the-corner, keep-walking-because-victoria-doesn't-want-your-secrets-body. Even more offensive
than how it looks, and the fact that I have to choose between low-rise or mom jeans, I'm horrified to find I've become a cliche. Crap. Crap. Crap. How did that happen?[I have never committed this sin.]
I had a plan, dammit! I was going to have my 3 perfect little angels, spaced 2.5 to 3 years apart - enough time to recover my hottie figure between each. And be a total MILF. (Yeah, I said it.) My results so far: the 3 little somethings - "angels" not being the most honest description now that they are here - check; time between preggers; check; enough time to recover the hottie body? Apparently not. MILF? Not even close. No check. My youngest is on the verge of his 1/2 birthday, so if he's 3.5, can I still claim baby weight? And let's be real here, most of this is not from baby #3. My oldest is nearly 10, so I'm pretty sure I can't claim that as "baby weight." Can I?
no, that's not me, but is strikingly similar
I'm not the nostalgic type so I don't often look back wistfully. But when I see pictures of my once size 4 body, I do wonder...Was I better then? So fit, so cute, so free to spend hours daily at the gym, full of promise and potential. On the other hand: quick to judge, melodramatic, impatient, intimidated, so generally clueless. Today's me: overweight, tired, distracted, easily annoyed, still judgmental, and often bitchy. On the other hand: confident, perceptive, self-aware, bold, logical, grateful...in a word, experienced.
I'm not the nostalgic type so I don't often look back wistfully. But when I see pictures of my once size 4 body, I do wonder...Was I better then? So fit, so cute, so free to spend hours daily at the gym, full of promise and potential. On the other hand: quick to judge, melodramatic, impatient, intimidated, so generally clueless. Today's me: overweight, tired, distracted, easily annoyed, still judgmental, and often bitchy. On the other hand: confident, perceptive, self-aware, bold, logical, grateful...in a word, experienced.
Now that I've put it into words (only slightly to my surprise), I find that I'd choose the muffin top of wisdom over the bikini body of insecurity any day. Go figure.
Oh, so true. . .Good thing we are not defined by our bodies. . .or are we?
ReplyDeleteit's even more fun when you get to show your kids pics of you pre-kids and they don't believe that's you! that thin person is my mom? can't be!!
ReplyDeletelol this is the time of year for muffin to overflow... time for her to go!
ReplyDeleteGood post. No kids yet here, but i've got a mini muffin top, lol. oh well!
ReplyDeletethat was funny!
ReplyDeleteIs there such a thing as a muffin bottom? LOL
ReplyDeleteTalk about wit and fun writing, I loved this. Now, I have finally discovered a solution between tweenie low rise jeans and moms jeans. I was in Holister with my girls today and they have Boyfriend jeans as the new hip thing for us ladies! They fit loose and comfy.I even bought a pair with a slight hole in the knee, my teen daughters assured me this was perfectly acceptable for a 36 year old Mom.
ReplyDeleteRebecca
I was wondering what to call that! I always called it the Walmart Special because there's nothing like going to Wally world and seeing six or so gals wearing spandex and gobs of them oozing out of it.
ReplyDeletemuffin top over wisdom.....an excellent choice. Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I now know what it's called, the muffin top! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm extremely envious if you've ever had a size 4 body !! I think I was born a size 10, and I think I will stay this way until I'm 100. Although staying the same size does have advantages, it means that ALOT of my clothes are REALLY outdated. Last year my kids did a "What Not To Wear" on me and made me change my style, and it has been an improvement !!
ReplyDeletewow...i can SO relate! i think i'll visit your blog again :O) i love the quote at the end about the muffin top of wisdom... can i quote you?
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is 32 and I'm still claiming baby fat :)
ReplyDeleteGood post. I might not exactly be in the target demo of this blog, but it's still great writing. And congratulations on resisting the Mom jeans.
ReplyDeleteThat was too hilarious! I am also wondering how this muffin thing happened, and I am on the eve of being 40. Wow.
ReplyDeleteKudos for saying NO to mom jeans! :-)
Too funny! Is that what I am? Laughing - I see this on young girls and think - wow, I thought she was cute until I looked down - there are some super attractive gals who where this look and it is not pretty
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh :) I am still claiming baby fat and my youngest is 18...lol I live FL so I see a lot of young girls with muffin tops and always wondered if they looked in the mirror before they left the house.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you! Wisdom is sweet.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your great attitude! I havent been a size 4 since the 3rd grade! At least you have those memories!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post!
ReplyDelete(I believe I have a bagel bottom. Or a Hoagie Hiney. Or,... alright,... I better stop now, I'm getting depressed. Time to jump on my Wii Fit :-> )
I love this post, very true! :) I'm kinda overweight too and I'm trying to lose weight but it's just so difficult! :(
ReplyDeleteah, good point!
ReplyDeleteI found some really cute Lee jeans at Kohls that are neither low rise nor mom jeans. I highly recommend them. Another bonus: Lee seems to mark their sizes one smaller than everyone else.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!...Those mom jeans are terrible, LOL. My son is 6...I only have one, and I still claim baby-related weight, after all that's when I picked it up, LOL!
ReplyDeletethis is maria from marcyandcoco.etsy.com
ReplyDeletelove the post, so funny, yet true!!!
mom-jeans ARE a sin!!!
Amazing... MILF? hmmm... I have another meaning for that.. Moro Islamic Libration Front.. ^^
ReplyDeleteYep..we all know your pain.
ReplyDeleteNow are you a Costco size muffin..or a Alberton's regular??
You are welcome to Join the Muffin Top Killers!! Just email me telling me you want to STOP THE TOP!
the dreaded muffin top! it seems to follow us moms everywhere doesent it lol
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on your choice for sure!
ReplyDeleteSo hilarious! Now I know what it's called. I, too, have gained so much weight since my first child was born. It just keeps piling on and no hope in sight.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs and congratulations for winning at the Woof contest.
Tasha