Serves You Right

Today's flavor: fruitcake - an odd confection we've tried before and vowed to never touch again, only to be tempted by a different variety with nasty results; looks lovely, never tastes as promised; starts out sweet, ends up a sticky mess with a hideous aftertaste.

"I stick my neck out for no one." Rick Blaine, Casablanca

Rick understood that every time you hold out a helping hand, you risk having it cut off. How cynical is that? I know, I know - your immediate reaction (especially you moms) is going to be that we have to take that risk, what good are we without helping others. And, yeah, I agree with that...in theory. It's in practice that things get tricky. [Exception -for my husband, my kids, my sister (and her husband and kids), and my mother, I would hold out a helping hand, every other appendage, and my neck without hesitation.] But the stars are long gone from my eyes. Sadly, it seems that if you are feeling magnanimous and generously offer your time/money/space/ expertise/connections/creativity/labor/or a stick of gum, the recipient is quite likely to follow up with a request for a repeat, or ask if you might have a kidney to spare. Well, at the very least, you'll experience a pronounced lack of appreciation, but more likely you will have your altruism smack you in the face. What's the old adage? No good deed comes without a bitch-slap...? So be prepared, next time you offer to drive a friend, you might become an unpaid taxi service; next time you grab the check, you'll become the wallet; if you agree to let someone stay for a few days, your home might get a new permanent resident; your great enthusiasm for that school committee will be rewarded with a full-time work load and a lot of criticism of your performance; before you lend a friend a dress/dvd/cd/prom date, take a picture because that may be the only way you'll see it again; and a little cash between friends will cost you more than any dollar value. Serves you right - you good-karma generating, relentlessly good, do-gooder. You never learn - you want to have faith, so when the occasion presents itself you think, "I'll go for it, this can't go wrong." That's good. You're good. You're a nice person. Truly. And you should keep trying to do unselfish good in the world. That's what I tell myself too. What? Don't look so surprised - I can be nice too. Only, I'm thinking my next random act of kindness will be performed anonymously, because I don't need the credit - and I'll gladly fore go the credit to avoid any fruitcakey thanks being hurled in my direction.