Monday, April 6, 2009

Honestly, you need professional help...

Today's flavor: chocolate souffle - so yummy, but even if you don't mess up the ingredients, you really have to know what you're doing to get it right.


"Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor..." Carrie Fisher as Marie in - well, if you don't know, look it up. Of course if you look it up and you haven't seen it, you'll need to see it straight away, or I can't have you here, I just can't. Right. Well, I digress. The point is, why don't people know when they need professional help? I'm not talking about screwed up childhood type of help - that's too depressing and this is far more important. I'm talking about people who: choose pastel formica countertops for their kitchens; feel their toilet seat back needs to be dressed up with something fuzzy; truly believe Crocs are cute and trendy; don't see that their short on the sides, long in back hairstyle is, infact, a mullet; don't understand that blushing the apple of the cheek does not mean make your cheek look like an apple; don't understand that the short sleeve shirt with a tie look only works on Sipowicz*; believe that having English as their first language means they can write; truly believe that watching enough HGTV qualifies them to make perfect wedding favors and centerpieces; think that mastering PowerPoint makes them a fab logo designer; are confident that knowing how to flip the circuit breakers equals a vast knowledge of wiring; are sure that lifting 3lb weights will make them "too muscular" so they'll keep their flab, thank you...oh, I could go on and on.
Someone saved a pretty penny by doing her own mural and getting these, umm, interesting accessories at BigLots!Ain't it classy?



So, build your own deck if you must, go ahead and give your kids a haircut at home, make your own wedding cake...But please ask yourself this first: "If I do this myself will it cause anyone bodily harm? Be a crime of fashion and/or good taste? Be so poorly executed, it will cause other people's computers to crash from disgust?" If the answer is "NO," you should be ok. If your answer is "YES," please - for the love of all things that don't make eyes bleed - get some professional help.


The truly unfortunate thing is that this woman probably has people who call themselves her friends, and yet they let this happen.




Disclaimer: Writing this post does not mean I'm not guilty of any of the above-noted infractions, but at least I'm always aware of my amature status.

*Aw, come on! You remember Sipowicz, don't you?





37 comments:

  1. oh good Lord... are those METALLIC pants?!?

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  2. ah ha! Finally someone who properly showcases the great tragedies like mullets and indoor equivalents of lawn ornaments! *looks around for her own examples of bad taste* :)
    www.bookwormzreader.blogspot.comm

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  3. Hahahahahahahaha! Too funny! I myself was guilty of the mullet, but the fault wasn't entirely mine...I was 8 and my mom did it too me which I think is an even worse crime than doing it to yourself.

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  4. Great collection of pictures. But here's the thing. I know I've got good taste and I have a lame sense of humor--can never remember jokes and don't get most of the pop culture silliness. All in all, I'll take style any day.

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  5. Where does one find gold spandex pants? On that note, who's house did you just out on the internet/ Too funny.

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  6. I agree with you on many points but I do like to see people express their individual style, as long as it isn't metallic pants with a pink sweater, that is. I would hate to have professionals decorate every house and dress all us since it would get pretty boring that way though.

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  7. Come on, who would you get to make fun of if EVERYONE had good taste? You would have had to write about something else today.

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  8. Thank the Good Lord I KNOW I don't have good taste!

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  9. You missed mirrored walls! A crime against decorating if ever there was one. lol

    The last person I said that too, in what I thought was a hilarious aside, actually DID, unbeknownst to me, have mirrored walls in their living room. *sigh*

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  10. Hee hee!!! Oh dear! :-) I've always wondered why people wear those Crocs things...

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  11. Metallic stretch pants? Oh no! I hope you'll come by and visit me! I have a giveaway for an ipod right now.
    http://laviedelaurie.com

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  12. some people just dont get it...that's why. well at least they are happy...i mean we are happy :)

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  13. Sitting here snickering and giggling !!

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  14. I am a most stylish goat, thank you....

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  15. Great post. Soooo... funny. From you post sounds like I'm doing okay. Yippie! Thanks for the chuckle.

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  16. Lovely post :D Not so lovely decor (but I guess "it takes all kinds" huh?) also - right when I saw those gold pants and the scary sweater- I knew it was none other than Ms. Leslie Hall herself. She has a strangely intriguing collection of websites...

    (saw your blog link in an Etsy thread and thought I'd stop by :D)

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  17. OMG, this was hysterical! What even made you think of all these things? And where did you find that AWFUL room???????? Ewwwwwwwwwwww

    Justine :o )

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  18. OMG you slay me! As for the unnamed fashion victim with the gold pants - MY EYES! It BURNS!!!

    Cheers (psilology.blogspot.com)

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  19. Pink and gold...not for me but some may like it. Sure! Why not? ;)

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  20. you mean, shiny gold tight pants aren't in?

    damn.

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  21. I cut my kid's hair, but he's 4.

    That room-----wow!

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  22. Hi there! thanks so much for stopping by my blog! I'm loving yours so far! I shall come back soon!!

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  23. I love those pants. Have a great night, and a Happy Easter:)

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  24. My daughter and I laughing our heads off at your great dining room decor. The carpet and the table and the lighting fixture really doesn't go with the rest of it. Then we actually read your post. Toooooo funny. Glad to know you probably know how to decorate properly.

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  25. Stopped by to visit on VGNO. Happy Easter.

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  26. Coming by from Virtual GNO. Have a great night.

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  27. haha no she didn't have to confess, I caught her redhanded lol ;)

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  28. OMG that's hilarious! I had to do a double take on the mural - but couldn't do a double take on the gold pants because they sort of freaked me out...(grin!!) Some people really do need professional help, don't they? (grin!)

    Happy VGNO and Happy Easter! :)

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  29. Oh my! Her pants are absolutely beautiful! What I would give for a pair of them stylin' threads! I would disco ALL night long.. Have a wonderful Easter weekend and VGNO!!
    Kim

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  30. i can openly admit that i have NO decorative style, i SUCK at coking anything and i NEED someone to help me pick out a new wardrobe. knowledge is power, ha ha. happy (late) VGNO

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  31. I have signed off cutting my boy's hair. No more. Happy belated VGNO.

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  32. "I just want you to know, I will never want that Wagon Wheel coffee table".
    LOVE that movie!!!

    Thank you so much for being a part of the Virtual GNO! It's so much better when you're here!

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  33. LOL!! Very Funny!! How did you get a picture of my dining room?? ;)

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  34. You ignorant slut.

    Stop putting pictures of me and my home in your blog.

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