Friday, November 6, 2009

Bad Mommy

Today's flavor - apple pie - completely from scratch, made by a really good mom.

I am a great mom. Yup. I said it...Well, maybe not great in the traditional sense. Actually, in the traditional sense I'm probably what many might call a bad mommy. My kids are not familiar with anything that qualifies as a vegetable. I have been known to serve Cheerios for dinner (those are nutritious, right?) and Nillas for breakfast.
My 2 older kids are already highly skilled at shopping for clothes that never need to be ironed. I let them watch TV any time I want to keep them out of my hair. I get a babysitter while I'm home and hide in my studio - where I sometimes just sit quietly. Breathing. I buy peppermint patties and peanut butter cups for them...but I hold on to them for safe-keeping and bribery. I offer them cash to let me sleep 10 extra minutes. I feel guilty about not cooking so I have created special dinner nights - Mac n cheese Monday; Tuna fish Tuesday; Whatever Wednesday; Take-out Thursday; Fast Food Friday; Spaghetti Saturday; Soup Sunday (yeah, it's out of a can, but they can choose double noodle or
chicken and stars!). When I get upset I drop all the naughty word bombs and then I yell "that's a grown-up word - don't repeat it." I do the laundry, but don't put it away for several days because every time I'm about to start folding, something more important - like the arrival of my Entertainment Weekly - takes priority.
This is not at all how I imagined my residence in the motherhood. Here's what I envisioned: I'd love things like mommy-and-me classes; I'd limit TV to 1 hour of PBS per day; I'd teach them to love organic foods and crave veggies; I would have a gorgeous scrapbook for each year of each kid's blissful life; I'd increase my workouts to take off the baby weight and keep it off (if my youngest is 4, can I still call the extra 40 lbs "baby weight"?); I'd bake from scratch and have 3 balanced meals on the table every day.
Cut to 10 years and 3 kids later, and all of this reality is making me wonder what constitutes good mothering. I adore my kids. But they exhaust me and make me act like a crazy person. I want to spend every waking minute with them. But they exhaust me and make me act like a crazy person. I want to cook healthy meals and do loads of educational activities - feed their bodies and their minds. But they exhaust me and make me act like a crazy person.
Turns out I'm not living the motherhood dream. Or, as I now see it, "the motherhood delusion." But my kids are terrible, spoiled little monsters, who laugh all the time, get straight A's and are rarely sick...So, if they are the result of bad mothering, color me bad, baby.


  1. Popping in from VGNO!

    Hilarious post, but sadly I can relate! ((Hugs))
    I'm mommy to four children that keep me going! Ages 13, 12, 9, and 1!

    I love the Take Out Thursday & Fast Food Friday!

  2. Love this post! You sound wonderful to me!
    Happy GNO!

  3. Clicked from VGNO!

    You are a mother, after my own heart! Only you know what's best for you and yours! You sound like a GREAT mother to me!

  4. I call this "normal" mothering. Well, at least it's normal to me.

  5. I can so relate! At our home we have Spaghetti Sunday, Macaroni Monday, Taco Tuesday, Whatever Wednesday, Take out Thursday, Pizza Friday, and Date Night Saturday. :)

  6. Hilarious post. I'm sure lots of moms (including me) can relate to this. =)

  7. I'm not a mom...yet but i do have sunday school classes and at times have 30 screaming brats in my class and YES! they do exhaust me and drive me crazy every sunday and I only see them once a I can't imagine what being a mom is like....

    I salute all the moms! They are the BOMB!

  8. Hilarious! This sounds so like me!

  9. I Did all the things You thought you should do raising my oldest child and.....I created a crazy person. Love your blog! I have an award for you at my blog if you would like to participate.

  10. THANK YOU!!! I'm trying really hard to be a "good" mom to my 3 month old but it's already tough and I'm already starting to feel like a "bad" mom. *sigh* I do hope I can get him to enjoy veggies - even if he'll rarely see me eat them!

  11. Great Post! I so am like you, and so happy to I am not alone in my "mothering" habits!


sticky post: Hello, wonderful visitors!

I hope you're enjoying my writing as much as I enjoy your comments. Keep them coming! I don't want to bore you, so send me your feedback and suggest any any topics/stories you'd like me to "flavor" for public consumption. ♥♥